GCN has been for many LGBT Christians a great blessing! Letters like this encourage us to help organizations that have saved a lot of lives!
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From: Brad and Kathy P.
Date: Tue, Dec 8, 2015 at 10:18 AM
Subject: THANK YOU
To: GCN Office <office@gaychristian.net>
Thank you GCN,
I recently met Justin Lee at a moms’ event in Raleigh. It was an honor to meet him because GCN’s resources were a lifeline to my husband and me beginning September 2014. First, I would like to tell a little of our story and then explain what GCN did for us.
When our oldest son Tyler was around the age of 3 or 4 I started worrying that he might be gay. By the time my second son came along, I noticed many more differences between the two boys. I read James Dobson’s book, Bringing Up Boys, and started working to “fix” my son. We went to church every time the door was open. I homeschooled my children for many years to protect them from a secular worldview.
Tyler was known as “Preacher Boy” because he knew the Bible. He read his Bible every day—because he wanted to. He started going to highschool, yet never seemed to be interested in getting a girlfriend, so I became much more frightened and began praying even more fervently. After graduation, he went to a private Christian college for a year. He still did not have a girlfriend during that time and I was 100% sure that he was gay. My husband was not so sure, but he started to wonder if I had been right all those years. Tyler then decided to move to Alaska for his sophomore year in college, as he had been pushing us away for many years at this point. We did not hear from Tyler very often.
One day, an affirming gay Christian video came up on my Facebook feed, and I think it recommended Justin’s book, too, so I immediately ordered Torn: Rescuing the Gospel From the Gays-vs-Christians Debate. Justin’s story changed my heart. Both my husband and I believed it was wrong to be gay and that it was caused by something traumatic in life. Justin showed me that I was so wrong.
Then our world was flipped upside down. I received a text from my son on Thanksgiving that said, “Please do not answer the phone if Mr. A* calls.” (Mr. A* was a preacher at one of our churches we attended while Tyler was a teenager. We are in the military and move often. Mr. A* was in Alaska, my son in was in another city in Alaska, and my husband and I were in North Carolina.)
I immediately called my son to ask why I should not talk to Mr. A*. Through tears, he said, “Mr. A* is going to force me to tell you something that I do not want to tell you over the phone.” My heart broke for him and I told him he could tell us and that I probably already knew what he was going to say. He was not ready to tell us that day, but Mr A* had given him a deadline of three days to tell us.
Tyler told Mr. A* that he was going home in two weeks and would like to tell us at that time… but Mr. A* said “no.” He also told my son he would be preaching a sermon and having a teen Bible class about him. He then called a large church in Anchorage and told them what my son had chosen to be.
On the third day, Tyler knew he was running out of time so he finally told us he is gay. I am so thankful we had already read Torn. My husband’s first words after reading the text was, “Well, I know my son and I know how much he loves God. I know he did not choose this so I must have been wrong in my beliefs all these years.” His heart had been changed because of Justin’s story and how much it paralleled our own son’s life.
We tried to talk to Mr. A*, and after a few days we had to block his number from our phone. We completely accepted our son and he has returned emotionally to us—and now he even wishes we lived closer! Although what Mr. A* did was extremely hurtful to Tyler and us, it cemented our family unit together. It opened our eyes to the ugliness of our church’s teachings.
My husband and I felt like we needed some support and more information. I ordered GCN’s Through My Eyes and The Bible and Homosexuality. I started going to the GCN website looking for anything I could find. I joined the message board and found a thread for people in the Church of Christ. I was stunned to find out other people in the church were on the message board. I really wanted to go to the conference but I had only discovered that Christians could be gay just a few months before!
I support GCN because I truly see the teachings of Jesus in this group. I think it is a beautiful thing that you can work together while disagreeing. I see such strength in you all as you stand among the LGBT community and the Christian community. I am strengthened by your honesty, integrity, and humility. I thank God for GCN and pray for blessings on all of you. I am now in a private Facebook group of moms who support their LGBT kids. Almost all of us raised our children in a church or a mission field. When we have a new mom coming in just trying to breathe and figure things out, Torn is always mentioned as one of the must-read books.
Thank you for all your work, the conference, and the resources. You are so much more than you could imagine to so many hurting people; so thank you from the depths of our souls.
– Brad and Kathy P.
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